Ask if perhaps he can set a rough schedule with his parents so that all visits in either direction are spaced 3-4 months apart so that you can feel like extended quality time is doable. The fact that you sussed out your feelings as being related to abstract fears and not actual time spent together is great, but I do think it points to this being something you need time and therapy to work through and no amount of rational Convincing Yourself will do the trick. If you’re not in therapy, I would see about it. Don’t work through your control/anxiety issues on your own. But how do I work on the anxiety and feeling of loss? Sometimes it manifests as pretty pronounced anxiety and loss or even heartbreak, which isn’t rational, and is less about actual time together and more about being scared of losing him in some abstract sense. It’s also nice how warm and welcoming his family has been, in spite of the cultural differences. My goal would be to use this as an opportunity to work on my own control and anxiety issues, since I do know how important family is and this arrangement isn’t a dealbreaker by any means. The plan is if we got married that his parents can stay with us periodically and we’d go back to his home country for two months a year, though it’s unlikely it would be three months at a time of his family visiting again. It almost feels more about control and routine to some extent, though there is also a part of me that will definitely miss him. I have abandonment issues and an anxious attachment style, so I know this is playing into it a bit. It will be a total of 5 months for the 12-month period in which his parents are here or he’s there, and it makes it hard to feel like we can just have an extended period of quality time together without some interruption looming overhead. But at the same time, it is making the scarcity mindset thing more pronounced. I’m supposed to visit for a couple of weeks to his home country during this time, along with my parents, which I’m really excited about. I am learning now that he will be going home for two months in February. ![]() I honestly really kind of liked having more time to myself, but I also felt like it gave me a scarcity mindset around quality time with him in our relationship (though I was spending a ton of time with him and his family). I spent a lot of time with his family, but our one-on-one time was more limited (a couple of nights for a few hours each week, but no day-long dates just the two of us or overnights). This most recent year, his mom stayed with him for three months, with his dad and brother each visiting during that time as well. He is committed to staying here, but also committed to balancing and making sure he still sees his family enough. He is from a different country, where his family still resides. I have been with my boyfriend for a couple of years. Parachute – Save up to 40% off last-chance items.Buffy – Fall Comfy Cozy Sale on bedding: Save 15% off more sitewide.Loft – All outerwear now $99 up to 50% off tops & sweaters.J.Crew Factory – 50% off holiday outfits extra 60% off clearance $10 off every $50 you spend.Elie Tahari – Election Day Sale: Extra 25% off.Eddie Bauer – Veterans Day Weekend Sale: 40% off (The reader favorite raincoat is down to $89 it’s available in regular, petite, plus, and tall sizes!).Banana Republic Factory – Holiday Preview Event: 50% off everything extra 15% off purchase.Ann Taylor – Sale styles 30% off plus an additional 20% off 30% off full-price pants & skirts.Nordstrom – Holiday sale, up to 60% off!.This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. If the ankle strap isn’t your jam, there are also two heights for pumps and a few other options. It’s $970 and available in sizes 5-12 depending on colorway. ![]() This shoe comes in four colors, including white, beige, and a bubblegum pink. The new iteration with a single stud is fun because it’s recognizable, but it’s also more sedate and a bit grown up. And yet the Rockstud line is still going strong! (Gotta say I love the pink-on-pink vibe to these shoes… calling Elle Woods.) I don’t recall when we first featured Valentino Rockstud pumps on the blog - it has to have been 10 years ago now! - and I remember liking the style but not wanting to invest in something clearly trendy.
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